(BENTON, Ky.) — In what experts are calling “either the bravest or most unnecessary expedition in Western Kentucky history,” WCBL Radio announced this week that morning personality Greg Leath will be lowered by industrial crane into Sinkhole Hill to finally answer the question absolutely nobody has been asking: How deep is it, really?
The legendary geological formation, located just south of Benton off U.S. Highway 641, has long captivated locals with its scenic views and distinctive topography. Now it will apparently captivate them with the spectacle of a middle-aged radio host dangling from construction equipment.
“I want to be the Jacques Cousteau, Geraldo and Les Nesman of Western Kentucky,” Leath declared at a press conference held in the station’s parking lot. “If I can discover the bottom on a radio special, I will go down in history, whether the crane is able to get me back up or I have to take up residence at the bottom of the famed hill.”
When asked why he volunteered for the mission, Leath admitted he “didn’t, really,” but “wasn’t given much a chance to say ‘no’ as all the other on-air staff ran out of the room” when the possibility of the special was brought up.
In preparation for the descent, the Bargain Line host has been training at Mermet Springs in Southern Illinois, where witnesses report seeing him “flailing dramatically” in full scuba gear. Leath has allegedly mastered the ability to hold his breath for 15 minutes—a skill that may prove crucial given his other admission: he cannot swim.
“We’re aware of the swimming situation,” said WCBL General Manager Chris Freeland. “But the crane’s rated for 1500 pounds, and Greg’s only about 185 with a fresh hair cut, so we feel pretty good about our margins.”
Geologists contacted for comment suggested that Sinkhole Hill, like most sinkholes in the region, probably has a measurable bottom and definitely doesn’t require a radio host to find it. They also noted that modern surveying equipment exists.
“This is insane,” said Dr. Patricia Whitmore of Murray State University’s Department of Geosciences. “They could use ground-penetrating radar or even just drop a weighted line. This is like using a ham sandwich to check your oil.”
Nevertheless, WCBL is moving forward with the stunt, announcing that sponsorship packages will go on sale next week. Early interest has reportedly come from local funeral homes, personal injury attorneys, and a Paducah-area company that specializes in “tactical rope systems and disaster recovery.”
The station has scheduled the descent for November 7th, weather permitting, with live coverage beginning at 10AM on 99.1 FM. Freeland said, “Well, we want him to be able to make both his Friday shift and then be back and ready for Bargain Line. If he doesn’t come back up, we’ll still have time to make sure Hollie can come in and replace him on Saturday.”
“Honestly, if we find the bottom, great,” Leath said, adjusting his wetsuit. “If not, at least I tried.”
WCBL reminds listeners that no radio hosts will be permanently harmed in the making of this broadcast, “probably.”