The Sweet Potato
By Timmy T. Tater, Editor and Chief Spud
Welp. The dreaded day is upon us — June 22nd, in the year of our Lord 2026. Interstate 24, Exit 16: closed.
For up to 120 days!
Let me ask you something. When you were growing up, did you ever think to yourself, “You know what this intersection needs? A circle.” No. No, you did not. The only roundabouts any of us knew about came courtesy of the Beatles on Penny Lane or Yes on Roundabout — and if two of the greatest rock bands in history couldn’t make me romanticize driving in circles, I’m pretty sure a construction crew in Paducah isn’t going to seal the deal.
And then along came Clark Griswold.
If you’ve seen National Lampoon’s European Vacation, you know exactly what I’m talking about. Clark. Big Ben. The roundabout. Sunrise. Sunset. The man could not get out. Burn that image into your brain, Western Kentucky — because that is our future. That is what we are building toward. Literally.
Now, I’m not against progress. I really am not. But somebody needs to explain to me — slowly, preferably with a diagram that does not involve a circle — why we are out here installing roundabouts and double crossover diamonds while our bridges look like they’ve been on a payment plan since the Roosevelt administration. Not Teddy. The other one.
I’m no engineer, but I’m fairly confident we could have built brand new crossings over both the Ohio and the Tennessee in the time it’s taken to “repair” the ones we already have. And if you’ve had the pleasure of trying to get into Missouri or Illinois down through Wickliffe lately — well, that’s not exactly breaking news either. We’re talking infrastructure that has been phoning it in since 1936.
But hey — at least we’re not Louisville, right? Those poor folks have essentially watched their city fold itself in half this summer. Road closures, detours, construction — the heart of Kentucky’s largest city has become a very expensive obstacle course. You’d think they were building a new civilization down there. Maybe they are. Hard to tell from the outside.
Look, roads need work. Infrastructure is real. Nobody’s picking a fight with a pothole. But when bridges are crumbling and the public keeps getting more roundabouts and double crossover diamond exchanges in return, it’s fair to ask: are we actually making local traffic safer — or just more creative about getting lost?
