By Jeremy Rose
Well, well, well. Look who’s finally decided to pass the torch. After 18 glorious years of… let’s see… what exactly has John Mozeliak done for Cardinal Nation lately?
Oh right, he’s got quite the résumé to wave around like a participation trophy at a country club mixer:
- 2011 World Series Champions (you know, that magical run that definitely wasn’t lightning in a bottle)
- 2012 NL Executive of the Year (back when flip phones were still a thing)
- 2013 #1 minor league system (ah, the good old days when prospects were actually prospects)
- 2× Baseball America’s Organization of the Year
- 2 World Series appearances
- 5× NLCS appearances
- 6× NL Central division titles
- 10× Postseason berths
- Franchise record 5 consecutive seasons with playoff appearances
Impressive! If you’re living in the past, that is. But hey, what’s a decade of playoff drought between friends?
The Walt Jocketty Foundation
Let’s not kid ourselves here. Much of Mo’s early “success” was built on the foundation laid by Cardinal Hall of Famer Walt Jocketty—you know, the guy who actually knew how to construct a championship roster. It’s like inheriting your grandfather’s perfectly maintained vintage car and then taking credit for its craftsmanship while you slowly let it rust in the driveway.
Jocketty left Mo with Albert Pujols, Yadier Molina, Jim Edmonds, and a championship-caliber core. What did Mo do? Well, he managed not to completely screw it up for a few years. Give the man a gold star!
His slick, new-fangled analytics ran off the greatest manager in Cardinals history, Tony LaRussa and led to the hires of Mike Matheny (terrific Cardinal catcher, dugout pilot that loved to perform nose dives, Mike Schildt (lifelong baseballer, loved the Cardinals, did everything the way he thought was best, but was not one of Mo’s cronies), and let’s save the best for last, Oliver Marmol. Mo’s Best Boy was really good at one thing…getting himself ejected from games.
And can we talk about signings and trades a bit? Remember Walt trading for Mark McGwire, Will Clark, Woody Williams, Darryl Kile, Chris Carpenter, Edgar Renteria, Jim Edmonds, Larry Walker, Scott Rolen…the list goes on and on.
Remember Mozeliak trading and signing for Brett Cecil, Miles Mikolas, Mike Leake, Dexter Fowler, Nolan Arenado, Jason Heyward, Paul Goldschmidt, Steven Matz, Albert Pujols. I’ll admit-Arenado, Goldy and Albert coming home were good deals for the fans and team alike. However, the culture that was the Cardinals post 2015 gives you feels of a Billy Goat Curse, and that curse was Mo himself.
The Hacking Scandal: A True Cardinal Way™ Moment
And let’s not conveniently forget the pièce de résistance of Mo’s tenure—the corporate espionage scandal with the Houston Astros. Nothing says “Cardinal Way” quite like illegally accessing another team’s internal database. Who was running the show during this delightful chapter of organizational integrity?
That’s right, our bow-tie-wearing, sweater-around-the-neck-having, condescending-attitude-sporting General Manager extraordinaire, John Mozeliak.
But sure, let’s all pretend that didn’t happen while he lectures fans about “building the right way” and “sustainable success.”
The Chaim Bloom Era Begins
Now Mo is graciously stepping aside (or being gently pushed aside—tomato, to-mah-to) to make room for Chaim Bloom as President of Operations. You remember Chaim, right? The guy who helped dismantle the Red Sox faster than you can say “Mookie Betts trade.”
Perfect! Just what Cardinal fans ordered: more front office executives who specialize in selling off talent and calling it “strategic rebuilding.”
So Long, Mo, Seriously “Bye Felicia!”
So here’s to you, John Mozeliak. Thanks for the memories—specifically, the memories from 2006-2013 that weren’t really yours to begin with. Thanks for the last decade of “we’re building toward something special” while the Cubs, Brewers, and even the Reds occasionally lapped us.
Don’t let the clubhouse door hit you on the way out. I’m sure you’ll land on your feet—probably in some cushy consulting gig where you can explain to other franchises how to coast on past success while slowly dismantling a winning culture.
Cardinal Nation will try to contain its enthusiasm as we enter the Bloom era, armed with nothing but hope and a suspicious feeling that we’ve seen this movie before.
The Cardinal Way™: Now available in participation trophy format.