(GILBERTSVILLE, Ky.)-In a move that has ruffled artistic feathers from Paducah to Possum Trot, the Kentucky Dam has been transformed into a colossal mural gallery—an audacious attempt to outshine Paducah’s beloved flood wall. The campaign, dubbed “Operation Damn Fine Art,” was spearheaded by the Bureau of Regional Rivalries and funded entirely by leftover TVA souvenir magnet sales.
🖌️ Murals with Muscle
The dam’s new murals include:
• A 200-foot rendering of President Harry S. Truman, the only sitting president to visit the dam, shown heroically pointing at blueprints while a bald eagle salutes in the background. Truman’s glasses gleam with patriotic intensity, and his tie flutters in a wind that may or may not be symbolic.
• “The Great Concrete Pour of ’38”, a dramatic tableau featuring shirtless workers, mythic proportions of cement, and a cameo by a confused possum.
• “Hydropower: The Musical”, a mural that doubles as a QR code linking to a TVA-themed barbershop quartet.
The most controversial piece? A mural titled “Flood Wall Envy”, depicting Paducah’s murals weeping softly into the Ohio River as Truman rides a steamboat past them, tossing autographed dam brochures to stunned onlookers.
🏛️ Truman Takes the Stage
To commemorate the murals, organizers wheeled out a life-size animatronic Truman, programmed to deliver his famous line: “The buck stops here,” followed by a wink and a slow nod toward Paducah. The robot malfunctioned halfway through and began reciting TVA budget figures from 1946, but the crowd applauded anyway.
Paducah responded with a counter-mural titled “Truman Was Just Visiting”, showing the president politely declining a second slice of pie and saying, “Nice dam, but I’ve got places to be.”
🐟 Local Reactions
• “I love it,” said one dam enthusiast. “It’s like Mount Rushmore, but wetter.”
• “Truman was a classy guy,” said a historian. “But I’m not sure he’d approve of the eagle wearing sunglasses.”
• “Paducah’s murals have nuance,” muttered a local artist, sketching a rebuttal in sidewalk chalk.
🎬 Coming Soon
Plans are underway for a documentary titled “Truman vs. The Wall: A Mural Rivalry”, featuring dramatic reenactments, archival footage, and interviews with paintbrush-wielding retirees.